The Water Looks Pretty Cold
by parksouth
Summary: Craig was walking home after a long day at work. He took his usual path home, everything was the same until he reached the bridge at Stark's Pond. Someone was standing on the edge of it. (Rated M for suicide attempt)


I was listening to 'Someone to Stay' by Vancouver Sleep Clinic as I wrote this and I feel it really sets the tone. So I suggest turning it on repeat as you read.

…

It was cold that afternoon. Not unusually so, it was the regular chill expected for December in Colorado.

Craig was returning home from his seven-hour shift at the pet store. He took the same route he always did. Past Tweek Bros. Coffee, behind City Wok and through the forest which led to Stark's Pond.

The forest path was unusually slippery, so Craig kept his eyes on the ground to prevent himself from skidding on an ice-patch. It had rained the night before and everything had frozen over. His dad offered him a ride home that day but Craig preferred to stick to his routine. Plus, he quite enjoyed the walk. It allowed him some much-needed alone time after hours of barking customers and animals alike.

Craig trudged down the path, picking his head up when he reached the end of the clearing. He had to cross the bridge overlooking the pond before getting to the next path that would lead back into town. He normally stopped on the highest point of the bridge and watched the water, adding about ten extra minutes to his walk. It was his thinking spot. The lanky boy thought about everything and nothing as he admired the fish, which to him danced rather than swan, in quite elegant fashion. He looked forward to spending time there at the end of each shift.

But that day there was someone else there. Someone was standing just in front of this thinking spot. Craig's heart began to race, not because there was an unexpected visitor on the bridge—he wasn't that introverted—but because of where they stood.

Directly in front of his spot wasn't anything, it was the rocky stream leading to the pond, that's why he began to panic. The person in question was balancing on one of the wooden planks on the _outside_ of the bridge. The person hadn't noticed him, they were too busy staring down at the icy current bellow. They held the railing behind them, presumably ready let go of at any moment to take the plunge.

Craig considered turning around and taking a different route home, not wanting to witness some poor fucks suicide. He didn't need the mental scarring nor did he want to be held at the police station for questioning.

The teen turned around, but not before taking one last glance at the suicidal stranger. Craig frowned and wrinkled his brow. It took him a minute, but he definitely recognized the tattered orange parka. Nobody else would dare sport something so obnoxious and repulsive.

It was Kenny McCormick.

There was nobody else it could be.

Craig wasn't necessarily friends with the guy, but he didn't hate him. His opinion was rather neutral. The asshole has had quite a few detentions with Craig; they've had more than one fist fight over stupid shit, the blonde prick and his douchebag pals even swindled him out of his birthday money when they were kids. Ok so maybe he didn't actually like the guy, but Craig wouldn't forget the time Kenny gave him an extra ounce of weed free of charge, or all the times Kenny let him bum his smokes. Kenny even drove Ruby home from school when Craig couldn't make it.

Before he could even form another thought, Craig turned himself around and began hesitantly approaching the blonde, not wanting to scare him off the edge. He managed to walk up to him unnoticed, but he had no idea what to say. Craig's never exactly been good with his words.

Maybe he'd try, 'I know life is shitty but don't jump,' or how about 'I don't want to have to watch you to fling yourself off this bridge, that's fucked up.'

Craig shuffled directly next to the shivering boy, resting his arms on the snow-covered railing. Kenny still hadn't noticed him despite Craig now being in his line of site. He figured contemplating jumping off of a bridge would affect a person's perception of reality.

"Hey." That's all Craig said. He worked up a small speech in his head but one look at Kenny's stone cold features threw him, making him forget everything he thought of. He'd never seen such an expression on Kenny's face before. The vulgar blonde always had a goofy grin on, Craig almost thought it was permanent, he was clearly wrong.

Kenny's head snapped to his right, eyes wide, searching Craig's face for something as if he couldn't believe someone else was there.

"Hey," Kenny replied rather softly, another thing he didn't expect. Craig just assumed Kenny's volume button was stuck on loud, but it seemed as if someone finally found the dial and turned it to the lowest setting.

Craig sniffled and rubbed his nose, looking down at the semi-frozen rapids. "The water looks pretty cold," he mumbled.

"Yeah."

Silence engulfed the two, only the sound the rushing stream filling their ears. Craig wished he could pull out his phone and Google 'how to talk someone out of committing suicide' because he clearly wasn't good at this. For a split second, he considered just grabbing Kenny and hauling him back over the railing. He dismissed the thought, not wanting to accidently drop the poor teen into the icy depths.

"What are you doing out here?" Is what he settled with saying.

"Thinking," Kenny blinked.

"I like to think out here too," Craig spoke. "It's peaceful."

Kenny hummed in response.

"Why don't you do your thinking on this side of the railing," Craig attempted to persuade.

Kenny let a long exhale out of his nose. "No."

"Trust me, it's better over here." Craig had not a single fucking clue what he was saying. The only thing he did know is that he couldn't just leave the kid here to die, it would haunt him for the rest of his life. Call him selfish, but Craig really didn't want that on his conscience.

They were silent again, Kenny was peering down at the water, seemingly forgetting Craig was even there.

"Damnit Kenny, what the fuck are you doing." Craig immediately regretted his statement, scared he suddenly wouldn't see the orange parka next to him anymore.

But Kenny didn't take Craig's moment of desperation to jump. He turned back to face the blue chullo he was so familiar with seeing and answered. "I don't fucking know man. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore."

"You don't have to know. Nobody really knows what their doing," Craig pressed. "All I do know is that whatever's got you up here in the first place can be handled in so many better ways."

A flash of rage crossed Kenny's features. "Fuck off Craig, you dickhead, no it can't! I don't even think the sweet release of death can fix my problems this time. It never does."

Craig had no idea what Kenny was going on about, but he wasn't one to handle anger well. "Fuck you McCormick. I don't even know why I'm bothering to help you," Craig spat. "You won't jump anyways."

"You don't think I'll do it?" Kenny smirked, taking the smallest shuffle forward the beam would allow him to.

Shit. That was the wrong thing to say. Craig cursed his inability to contain his frustration.

Craig reached out and grabbed Kenny's arm. "Wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that at all. You just piss me off sometimes."

Kenny just stared at him, so Craig took that as a sign to continue. "What about your friends? They'll miss you man." He prayed that his attempt to keep Kenny grounded worked.

Kenny swat Craig's arm away, only to wobble on the beam, causing Craig to reach out and grab him again. With the firm grasp of two of Craig's hands keeping him stable, Kenny answered. "My friends don't give a shit about me dude. I was supposed to be at Stan's house two hours ago, and I haven't gotten a single text asking where I am." He more cautiously removed Craig's arms from his. "It's always been like this. My existence to them is meaningless. I die and they'll just forget everything tomorrow anyways; everyone will."

"What?" Craig still couldn't wrap his mind around what Kenny meant. He talked about death as if he's died before. Craig ignored the end of Kenny cryptic statement. "I'm sure they care. You guys have been friends forever. I'm sure you mean a lot to them."

"You don't get it."

"Then make me get it."

"I can't."

Craig sighed, still unsure of what to do, he tried a new tactic. "What about your sister? Karen would be so upset."

This had Kenny pursing his lips and gnawing at one of his dirty nails. "Maybe."

"What do you mean maybe? Kenny, of course she would. You're her guardian angel after all." Craig's sister and Kenny's were actually quite close friends. Karen was at his house almost every weekday. He'd over heard the chatty girl's conversations many times before. Karen's face was always beaming when she talked about her older brother. She referred to Kenny as her 'guardian angel' on more than one occasion. Craig was actually a little jealous of their relationship as siblings. He'd never be as close to Ruby as Kenny was to Karen, but he wasn't about to admit that.

Kenny froze at the statement. His bottom lip was quivering, he swallowed thickly. "She needs a better one. I can't give her anything she deserves," Kenny choked.

"Well frankly, she doesn't have any other option. Even if she deserves better, she'll never have it," Craig spoke truthfully. "You're all she's got right now and the only thing she'll have for a very long time—possibly forever. You don't want to strip her of one of her only sources of happiness, do you?"

"No," Kenny muttered.

"Then you're gonna haul your ass back over here right now," Craig demanded.

"But I—"

"I said now McCormick." Craig's frim voice wasn't easing.

"I don't deserve to live Craig, I—"

" _Now_ ,Kenny, I said _now_."

The boys made eye contact, Kenny took in one shaky inhale and pushed himself back over the decaying wooden rail and landed firmly on his feet.

They just stood there for a moment gazing at each other's unreadable expressions, until Kenny quickly turned and began sprinting down the bridge towards the forest trail.

Craig frowned and watched him go, he had no plans of chasing him, he'd done his job. Before Craig had the chance to continue his venture home, he witnessed Kenny slip on a patch of ice in his efforts of escape, and fall flat on his face.

Craig sighed and walked up to the unmoving Kenny laying in the gravel. For a split-second Craig thought he died from the impact, but upon closer inspection he could see Kenny's back rising and falling. The taller teen crouched down and tapped the shorter on the head.

"Get up McCormick, this is just pathetic," he mumbled. He wasn't greeted with any retaliation. Kenny slowly sat up, sporting some small cuts on his left cheek from the gravel and a steady stream of blood from his nose.

And he was crying.

Craig's never seen Kenny cry before. Even when they got into fights and he pounded Kenny's face in, he didn't cry. Sometimes he would actually laugh which only pissed off Craig further. So he assumed he wasn't teary due to his tumble, but likely from everything that just transpired; the fall just topped it all off.

People crying made Craig really uncomfortable. He never knew what to do, he was shitty at consoling. So he settled for awkwardly patting Kenny's back, his crying only turned to hefty sobs at the touch.

"Kenny, you need to calm down. Everything is fine now, you're safe," he spoke, hopefully loud enough over the sobbing for Kenny to hear.

He didn't reply or ease up on the crying, so Craig continued his patting.

Blood, snot and tears were spread all across Kenny's normally stunning face. Ugly crying didn't suit anybody, but it was always especially disgusting on people who were gorgeous.

Craig retreated his hand from Kenny's back and huffed. He pulled the blue sleeve of his sweater over his hand, placed his other hand on Kenny's unstable shoulder for support, and began to wipe away the blood and tears. Kenny's bawling slowly eased until he was merely a whimpering mess.

"There," Craig said, retracting his arms and smearing what substances were left on his sleeve onto his jeans. Kenny still looked like shit, eyes rimmed red, still letting slow droplets od tears roll down his face. The blood wasn't totally gone and a lot of it was just moved around his face. At least his nose stopped bleeding. "I'm gonna walk you home, okay." It wasn't a question.

"Craig?" Kenny whimpered.

"Yes?"

"Please hug me."

Craig hesitated before leaning in and wrapping his arms around the quivering mess of a boy in front of him. He wasn't much of a hugger to begin with and Kenny was squeezing him as if Craig was his lifeline. He slowly relaxed and slightly eased more into the embrace. Without thinking, Craig began rocking slightly and rubbing Kenny's back as the other breathed slow and heavily, releasing his exhale directly onto Craig's neck.

Craig desperately wanted the hug to end, but he didn't feel like it was right to let go. The guy almost killed himself for fucks sake, the least Craig could do was let him stay wrapped in his arms until he said he was done.

He had no idea how long they stayed like that.

The sky was rapidly growing darker so he knew he had to say something.

"Kenny?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"It's getting dark, let me take you home now," Craig whispered.

Kenny pulled back from the embrace and looked up at Craig. Kenny sat up a little straighter and leaned forward. Craig panicked and leaned a little further back but Kenny still advanced. He stopped directly in front of Craig's face, and to the blue clad boy's relief, only rested his forehead against the others.

"Do you care about me?" Kenny muttered so lowly Craig almost couldn't hear him despite they're faces touching. He could feel the warmth of Kenny's breath on his lips which caused him to shivered.

"Yeah." He actually did care about Kenny in weird way. They might not actually be friends but Craig knew he wound still shed a tear at the boy's funeral had he died. For some weird reason, Craig felt as though he _had_ already cried at Kenny's funeral. Craig shivered again at the thought.

"You don't have to lie to me, but I appreciate it," Kenny chuckled.

Only a freak like Kenny would laugh at a moment like this.

"I wouldn't lie about caring about someone. I feel like you know that already," he replied.

"Well I think you might be the only one then," Kenny chimed. "Craig?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

Craig blamed the kiss on the high tension of the moment, but he couldn't help but press further into it. He knew what Kenny's lips felt like under his fist but not against his mouth. The sensation was different and exciting. Craig wasn't a lip virgin but kissing Kenny felt completely new, but in a good way.

Kenny smelt like blood and tears and tasted of it too, not exactly pleasant but it still wasn't a deterrent. The kiss was slow and hesitant, but not uncomfortable. Craig felt bad, he knew Kenny must be kissing him because of how lonely he felt. Craig was the only one to show any sort of concern for him and Kenny misread it as affection.

They pulled apart slowly, both boys lightly panting. Kenny leaned back in for one last lingering peck.

"Thank you," Kenny breathed.

"Any time." Kenny laughed at Craig's response.

They slowly stood and made their way back across the bridge to head into town.

As they walked Kenny spoke. "Can I ask you one more thing."

"Sure," Craig shrugged.

"Hold my hand."

Craig smirked at the request. "That wasn't much of a question." But before Kenny could retort, Craig reach for his hand and laced their fingers together.

The walk was silent. Craig pulled out a cigarette and shared it with Kenny. Craig focused on the stars the entire stroll and became lost in his gazing. Before he knew it, they made it to the train tracks that divided the poor side of town from the rest.

Kenny ceased walking, bring Craig's attention back from the cosmos. "Here is fine."

"Alight," Craig sighed, untangling their fingers. Kenny didn't move, he just stared up at Craig, expecting something more. So Craig continued. "Kenny, promise me not to try shit like that again."

"I can't do that," Kenny sputtered.

"Ok well," he swallowed, "if you ever feel like you might do that again, please talk to someone instead. It doesn't have to be me but it can if you want it to." Kenny wasn't looking at Craig anymore, he was seemingly more interested in kicking the dirt on the tracks.

"Kenny, please look at me." At the mention of his name, Kenny's eyes shot back up and locked with Craig's. "You have to promise you'll reach out. I don't know what's going on with you or what's making you feel this shitty, but I do know that I don't wanna end up at you're funeral wondering 'what the fuck more could I have done to prevent this?'"

"Craig, I—"

"I don't want to have to get the school councillor involved or anything, 'cause frankly, you're shit isn't my business, so don't make me consider it."

Kenny laughed and smiled. "Are you done rambling you fucking oaf? I think that's the most I've ever heard you say since preschool." He paused. "I was gonna say, I _promise_."

Craig slowly nodded in approval. "I know you have my number, so feel free to text me if you need anything or just want to talk or some shit." Craig had never put himself out there like this for someone else before. Sure, he supported his friends when needed, Clyde cried on his shoulder all the time, but this felt different. Nobody had ever _needed_ Craig the way Kenny might.

"I'll consider it," Kenny beamed.

"Go home and get some sleep McCormick."

"Alright, _mom_ ," Kenny sighed sarcastically. "Just one more thing."

"What?"

Kenny leaned upwards, stretched on his tippy-toes to land his mouth on Craig's cheek.

"Man, next time bring me a ladder would yah?" Kenny quipped.

Craig was just glad it was dark out, as he was sure he was blushing profusely. "Whatever, go inside."

"See yah." With that, Kenny turned and marched toward his front door. Craig didn't tare his eyes away until the door closed behind him.

During the walk back home, Craig's mind kept running over what Kenny had said; 'next time bring a ladder.'

'Next time,' as in, ' _we're doing this again_.'

He didn't know if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was excitement or dread, he thought it may be both.

Entering his house, Craig was greeted by his very worried mother. "Craig, where have you been? You finished work four hours ago," his mother raged. "I called you about a hundred times, I was this close to calling the police to find you young man."

"Now Laura, calm down. He's fine, I told you," his father consoled.

Ignoring her husband, Laura spoke, seething. "You're going to tell me where you've been and what was so important that you couldn't find the time to call and tell us where you were."

"I was helping a friend." Where he and Kenny friends now? Craig wondered. "I'm tired, can I go to my room?"

"Laura, let the kid live," Thomas said, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder. "You can go Craig, but you're telling us everything tomorrow morning."

"Sure," Craig deadpanned, already making his way up to his room.

Once he reached his bedroom, Craig turned on the light, threw the days' clothes clumsily into his hamper, closed the light and hoped into bed. He didn't realize how tired he was until his head hit the pillow. The day had really drained him. Right before he lulled into dreamland his phone buzzed, indicating a text.

Craig lazily reached for his phone on his night stand, wincing at the light from the screen, he squinted at the text.

Kenny:

' _I need you.'_

Craig:

' _I'll be there in a sec.'_

…

I know I literally just started a new series but I was reading a bunch of angsty crenny fics and I just had to write my own. I wrote this today in about 3 hours so sorry for any mistakes! Hope you enjoyed! This is a one-shot.


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